Hello <<First Name>>,
Consider this all-too-common scenario…
I’m in a good spot in my career; doing well in the company.
Then word comes we’ve been acquired by another company. Current staff levels are being trimmed; my position is being eliminated. When I am given notice by my employer…
- Do I lash out at the HR rep delivering the news, belittling the company and everyone who works there?
- Do I retreat inside myself, put on a stone face, walk out and never look back, even ignoring close colleagues?
- How do I respond to my family? Hide the news as if nothing has happened? Anger? Withdrawal? Depression? Discussion?
Anyone who receives sudden bad news is going to feel some negative emotion—shock, anxiety, fear, anger, hopelessness. That’s natural. It’s what you do with it that is Emotional Intelligence.
Back to the definition of EQ from the last newsletter—“Being smarter with your feelings—accurately appraising emotional data, and using this data to optimize decisions.” (from Joshua Freedman, Six Seconds)
An easy way to remember EQ : Understand & Manage // Ourselves & Others
How can you manage yourself and your relationships with others to make the most of this “lay off” situation?
The first step is to acknowledge our own emotions and choose your response to them.
CHOICE 1: “Why is everything so chaotic when I get home? Kids shut that TV off and do your homework! Why isn’t dinner ready yet? How was my day? Don’t even get me started…”
CHOICE 2: “Hey honey, I have bad news--I just got laid off. After all I’ve done for that company! I can’t believe this is happening! I’m so mad I can’t even talk about it right now. I need an hour of quiet so I can calm down a bit.”
The second step is seeking to understand other’s emotions and managing those relationships.
CHOICE 1: “I don’t want to have anything to do with those people. Bunch of losers! I don’t need them to get ahead.”
CHOICE 2: “Hey Joe. I was so sorry to hear that your position was eliminated too. That must be very stressful with the new baby and your wife taking time off from her career. Do you want to meet for coffee next week and talk about some next steps in our job hunt?”
CHOICE 1 in each pair may make you feel better right now, however CHOICE 2 will get you a better outcome in the long run, and is the more ‘emotionally intelligent’ approach.
In our next issue of CHOICES—Breaking down EQ into something actionable.
To your best potential,
If exploring EQ is something you'd like to find out more about, please contact VAULT Associates. We can provide EQ introduction sessions, individual leadership coaching, and group development workshops. Certified facilitator in the EQ-I 2.0 Emotional Intelligence Assessment.
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