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March 2020
Bad leaders believe people work for them. Good leaders believe people work with them. Great leaders believe they work for people. Especially in crisis, we depend on servant leaders to put others first.

My favorite sources of insight this month on helping and supporting others:
1. That Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief (Scott Berinato, HBR)
When grieving the loss of normalcy, it's worth remembering that this isn't permanent. We don't know when it will end, but we do know it's temporary. In the meantime, letting emotions in doesn't give them power over us. It gives them room to move through us.
2. You’re Not Listening. Here’s Why (Kate Murphy, NYT)
We think we understand friends and family better than strangers, but we're often wrong. Isolation is an invitation to overcome the closeness-communication bias by really listening to those we love.
3. “Good” and “Bad” are Incomplete Stories We Tell Ourselves (Heather Lanier, TED)
A powerful talk on resisting the urge to simplify and judge the experiences in our lives. Events and relationships are complicated: they can be both positive and negative.
4. Solving Problems Before They Happen (Dan Heath, Behavioral Scientist)
When we see people drowning in a river, our natural impulse is to jump in and rescue them. That solves the problem, but to prevent the problem, we need to go upstream: find out why they're falling in the river in the first place. A fascinating analysis of how Iceland went upstream to prevent teenage substance abuse.

New from My Desk:

5. In Negotiations, Givers are Smarter than Takers (NYT)
Generosity is a sign of intelligence: smart people are less likely to take and more likely to give. They find ways to help others that cost them little—or even benefit them too. Before we claim value, let's not forget to create value.
6. Relationships at Work with Esther Perel (TED)
For a bonus episode of my podcast, I talk with therapist Esther Perel about trust, power, and people pleasing. We weigh in on your questions about work spouses, the tension between autonomy and loyalty, and when to quit a job. And I get an unexpected taste of what it’s like to be on her couch (we did this live, before physical distancing).

Coming up on WorkLife this Tuesday is an episode on authenticity, and then the following week is loneliness.
Speaking of loneliness: if you’re feeling FOMO in quarantine, it might be time to embrace JOMO, the joy of missing out. My list of things I’m glad to be missing:
(1) Having to change out of sweatpants
(2) Commuting
(3) Awkward interactions with strangers
(4) Awkward interactions with people I know
In solidarity,
Adam Grant, Ph.D.
Organizational psychologist at Wharton, author of ORIGINALS, GIVE AND TAKE, and OPTION B, and host of WorkLife, a TED original podcast
Copyright © 2020 The Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania, All rights reserved.

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