When you want something from your partner, you have to know how to ask the right question, otherwise you can find yourself frustrated when you don't get the answer you're looking for.
Tip: Know How to Ask the Right Question
There are 3 different ways you can ask for something:
1. An invitation
2. A request
3. A demand
An invitation has a yes/no answer and when you ask your partner an invitation, you should be okay with either the yes or the no.
A request is when you are asking your partner to do something for you because it's based on some higher need or value of yours.
A demand, well, you know what a demand is.
So let me put this into play...
If I were to ask John, "Will you take out the garbage for me?" that's an invitation...he has the right to truly say yes or no.
If I were to say, "Hey love, I know the garbage is my job this week, but my back is really hurting; it would mean a lot to me if you helped me out," that's a request because I'm basing it on a higher need of mine.
And of course, "Take out the damn gargbage!" Yes, that's a demand.
This becomes an issue in relationships when we think we are asking a request, but it's really an invitation, and when the answer isn't what we were hoping for, we get pissed, distant, annoyed, irritated or withdrawn from our partners.
Try it out! Let me know what you think :)
Want to learn more ways to increase your love, connection and partnership? Check out my and John's new website on how you can have The Ultimate Relationship. Oh and btw, there's going to be a special offer in February for our retreat in September in Costa Rica - be sure to look out for it!