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WisdomWednesday 26
Tip: Know How to Ask the Right Question
 
When you want something from your partner, you have to know how to ask the right question, otherwise you can find yourself frustrated when you don't get the answer you're looking for.

There are 3 different ways you can ask for something:
1. An invitation
2. A request
3. A demand

An invitation has a yes/no answer and when you ask your partner an invitation, you should be okay with either the yes or the no.

A request is when you are asking your partner to do something for you because it's based on some higher need or value of yours.

A demand, well, you know what a demand is.

So let me put this into play...

If I were to ask John, "Will you take out the garbage for me?" that's an invitation...he has the right to truly say yes or no.

If I were to say, "Hey love, I know the garbage is my job this week, but my back is really hurting; it would mean a lot to me if you helped me out," that's a request because I'm basing it on a higher need of mine.

And of course, "Take out the damn gargbage!" Yes, that's a demand.

This becomes an issue in relationships when we think we are asking a request, but it's really an invitation, and when the answer isn't what we were hoping for, we get pissed, distant, annoyed, irritated or withdrawn from our partners.

Try it out! Let me know what you think :)

Want to learn more ways to increase your love, connection and partnership? Check out my and John's new website on how you can have The Ultimate Relationship. Oh and btw, there's going to be a special offer in February for our retreat in September in Costa Rica - be sure to look out for it!

Happy loving!
~Joree
Visit JoreeRose.com for more information on coaching, retreats, online courses and meditations

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Joree Rose, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, #93545 and founder of the Bay Area Mindfulness and Therapy Center, in Northern California. She is the creator of the JOURNEY FORWARD WITH JOREE ROSE podcast, offers online courses in mindfulness and meditation, and leads retreats around the world. She also has two mindfulness books for kids published, speaks locally and nationally, as well as does corporate trainings in mindfulness. At the root of all her work, Joree guides her clients to JOURNEY FORWARD,  which means getting unstuck from what’s not working in your life (habits, patterns, outdated stories you are living by, relationships or jobs that are no longer serving you) and gaining the tools, shifting your mindset and integrating science-backed frameworks that will lead to lasting change towards your authentic happiness, peace and joy. A big piece of my work is my story –I have Journeyed Forward, and I am a living example of the tools I teach, so I know that not only do the tools that I teach work, but that change and growth is possible. Happiness is attainable!
Copyright © 2020 The Bay Area Mindfulness and Therapy Center, All rights reserved.


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