Remember how last week I told you about non-violent communication (NVC)?
Tip: Curiosity and Compassion
Well, one of my favorite recent books is called, Say What You Mean, by Oren Jay Sofer, who was actually a student of Marshall Rosenberg, who created NVC. Well, Oren went to Marshall and said, "Hey, know what is missing from your 4-step framework? Mindfulness!"
It's hard to be aware of what is arising without judgment unless you practice mindfulness.
And Marshall's response: "You're right! Why don't you take that on?" And so Oren did, hence the book.
So, if I were to sum up the entire book, it all comes down to this: curiosity and compassion. If you start off all communication with these in mind, you will have a good chance to be met with a decrease of defensiveness and reactivity, and you'll have a much better chance at communicating effectively and deepening your relationship.
I encourage you to try that on with all your interactions. Ask yourself, "Am I coming from curiosity and compassion right now?" And if not, pause, take a breath and start over again.
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