I wanted to check in with you and see how you are doing... And to remind you that whatever you are feeling is normal!
That being said, I know that there is so much coming up for each of us right now.
And despite the obvious challenges (and I don't want to undermine or minimize anyone's suffering!) I truly believe that with the right mindset you can look for the benefits that can come from this time in our lives.
Just as a rainbow can only be seen after the storm, there can be silver linings to our challenges right now...if you look for them!
Perhaps the old pattern would be to stay in fear, maintain habits that increase anxiety or stress, or have over-identification with emotions.
But this great pause is offering us a chance to do things differently, and if we are mindful of this opportunity, we can use this time for our benefit to grow and create lasting change in areas that we’ve most desperately been needing a shift.
In this week’s episode (click here to listen now!) of the Journey Forward with Joree Rose podcast, I interview Robert Strock, a licensed marriage and family therapist of almost 50 years. He offers great wisdom and tools that, if we choose to, we can use to harness a silver lining in light of what we as a common humanity are experiencing.
So, here are 5 tools to practice right now to create lasting positive change in your life:
1. It’s okay to be human and acknowledge your experience. There is nothing wrong with what you are feeling.
Can you be kind to yourself, rather than judge yourself?
Can you allow yourself to have friendly thoughts, even when your heart is hurting?
The emotion isn’t permanent; it will pass. Simply allow yourself to be with what you’re feeling without judgment and resistance – be curious to see what happens when you try! (You might see the emotion passing more quickly...)
2. Don’t ask “why?” There often isn’t an answer to the question of "why?" Asking the question of “why?” puts you right back into a spiral of reactivity.
Accepting what is allows the thoughts, emotions and sensations to quiet down; it’s a paradox that acceptance shortens and softens our experiences.
3. Know that vulnerability breeds connection. When we can be vulnerable to not only feel what we feel, but share our vulnerabilities with those around us, we realize that we are not only human, but we are a process, and not always in need of a solution.
Only once we can show up for ourselves, can we show up for others. This shared experience can bring you closer together with others.
4. Recognize where your choices are. While you don’t have a choice in what arises (such as coronavirus or your thoughts), you do have a choice in what you do with what comes up for you.
Robert Strock tells us that “emotions are a terrible barometer into how you are doing.” He says that it’s how you respond to your emotions that is more important than how you feel. The question isn’t to ask yourself how you are feeling, but rather “how are you responding to what you are feeling?”
5. Learn to self-soothe. Every time you have a challenging emotion, rather than dwell and reside in the emotion, you can choose to tune into the healing quality you need in that moment.
Learn to self-soothe by being curious and compassionate about a wise action or a kindful thought you can provide yourself. Everyone can think a friendly thought to themselves, even if they are angry or sad.
Remember to breathe – it’ll calm the brain and the body. Pause to allow yourself to respond and not react.
And remember to offer yourself compassion; say to yourself, “this is really hard right now,” and let that reminder let it be okay.
Hopefully you have found these tools to be helpful. I’d love to know which one most resonated with you. And if you need extra tools, click here to check out my meditations that are available to download. Or if you are struggling with parenting right now, click here to download my Patient Parenting course; it is a great way to build strong mindful parenting skills.
Remember, this too shall pass, and – you can take with you the best lessons from this experience! Stay healthy. Stay safe. Stay sane.
|Here is a weekly schedule of all the tools I'm offering in my Journey Forward Facebook group
(all times are PST)
Monday, Tuesday, Thursday & Friday:
8:45am - 5 min. morning meditation
6:00pm - mindfulness teachings
Wednesday & Sunday:
12:30pm - extended 30-min. meditation
11:00am - Live Q & A on how to manage through stress,
anxiety and uncertainty
And please - invite anyone else into the group that you think would benefit from these tools and community. Click here to join group
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After the 2016 election, in addition to having an increase of clients coming in reporting “election anxiety” or “political anxiety”, I also remember seeing a lot of articles pop up in my social media addressing the question of, “How am I going to deal with the outcomes of this election?” As so much of my […]