Okay, so I'm a stickler for language.
Tip: 4 Steps to Effective Communication
Words have power and yet we don't always know how the best way to communicate effectively.
My favorite framework is Non-Violent Communication (NVC), created by Marshall Rosenberg. It's easier said than done, and at first it feels awkward, but I promise - stick with it, and you'll see transformations occur. So here, it is:
1. Observe what is arising. Name it, don't blame it. Use "I" statements. "Hey love, I'm noticing, every time I come into the kitchen in the morning, the phone is always out, and we don't get to talk much before I leave for work."
2. Name how what you experience (from #1 above) makes you feel. "When the phone is always out, I feel disconnected, and then am sad throughout the day that we didn't get time together in the morning."
3. Name (in general terms) what you need to alleviate the feeling (from #2 above). "When I'm feeling disconnected, I could use some attention, and acknowledgment."
4. Make a specific request in the moment (directly related to #1). "So right now, can you please put down your phone and can we connect for a few minutes since I have to leave?"
Notice how there was no "you" until #4. This isn't easy, but it is powerful!!!
Want help putting this in place? Let me know and I'll be happy to guide you!