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WisdomWednesday 25
Tip: Know Your and Your Partner's Love Language
Between now and the end of February, all the WisdomWednesday tips are going to be relationship-based. And then, stay tuned for an amazing offer mid-February where you can put all these tools to use!!

One of my favorite tools to start with when I am working with couples is to have them discover their love language, which is based on the book by Gary Chapman. Our love language is the way that we know we are loved, by the kind of time and attention our partner gives us.

The 5 are:
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Acts of Service
Words of Affirmation

The challenge is, not all couples have the same love language, so they tend to give their partner, what they most want, and since that might not be what you want to receive, the effort and intentions can often get missed.

Let me give you an example (albeit, based on a out-dated, traditional old-school model of marriage): Wife is home with the kids, does the laundry, helps kids with their homework, makes a delicious dinner; Husband comes home from work, thanks his wife for all she did all day, gets up from the table, clears the dishes, takes out the garbage, then sits on the couch the rest of the night. She gets annoyed with him and scoffs off to their room, and he even is frustrated with her. They go to bed with no sex or even much conversation, totally disconnected.

What happened here? They both performed a lot of acts of service, and he even gave her words of affirmation. But she wanted quality time (which is why she was annoyed when he was just on the couch doing his thing all night) and he probably wanted words of affirmation ("Thank you for going to work all day, and doing all the chores when you got home; I appreciate you.")

Even though they were both doing kind things, and necessary things, it wasn't what the other needed to feel acknowledged and loved.

Want to learn more ways to increase your love, connection and partnership? Check out my and John's new website on how you can have The Ultimate Relationship.

Happy loving!
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Joree Rose, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, #93545 and founder of the Bay Area Mindfulness and Therapy Center, in Northern California. She is the creator of the JOURNEY FORWARD WITH JOREE ROSE podcast, offers online courses in mindfulness and meditation, and leads retreats around the world. She also has two mindfulness books for kids published, speaks locally and nationally, as well as does corporate trainings in mindfulness. At the root of all her work, Joree guides her clients to JOURNEY FORWARD,  which means getting unstuck from what’s not working in your life (habits, patterns, outdated stories you are living by, relationships or jobs that are no longer serving you) and gaining the tools, shifting your mindset and integrating science-backed frameworks that will lead to lasting change towards your authentic happiness, peace and joy. A big piece of my work is my story –I have Journeyed Forward, and I am a living example of the tools I teach, so I know that not only do the tools that I teach work, but that change and growth is possible. Happiness is attainable!
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