Good afternoon dear reader & welcome to my world for another week. Not many days go by when I note something in the news where someone, somewhere is in conflict with another person, group or organisation. Perhaps it may be the media sensationalising an issue but when one digs deeper we can locate a difference of opinion in almost anything, everywhere. I have been reflecting the last 10 days or so now on these issues & it occurs to me, if I allow the position to exacerbate, this too can also affect me.
Accordingly, the things we say are really important. And I think the way we say them is just as important. If it is not done with care & respect, telling someone the truth can still create tension. Perhaps this is why many of us will do anything to avoid confrontation.
The problem with this avoidance is typically:
Speaking the truth means taking a risk & will only work if you believe two things: being honest is more important than avoiding conflict, & the well-being of the other person is more important than being comfortable.
- The issue comes back
- Untreated it , it can get worse
- It can wreck relationships ~ unexpressed anger breeds bitterness & then relationships grow cold.
So, perhaps working out differences with others, requires a few ground rules:
Confrontation is awkward or perhaps even scary. However, we should never give up on people when things get rocky. Hang in there & work through issues. In the end, relationships are very important.
- Clarify in your mind exactly what the problem is. Carefully figure out how you see things & ask yourself if you might be missing anything. Is this a mountain or a molehill? Temporary or long-term? Avoidable or unavoidable?
- Sort your attitude out. When one is angry, you can do more harm than good.
- Think about where to meet up. Making plenty of time, when you are not tired, in a fairly quiet place & try to meet on neutral territory.
- Make sure they know you want to make things better. This is not a ‘my way or the highway’ meeting
- Make your meeting light. Do not make strong comments like: ‘you always’ or ‘you never’. When you make an important point ask the person if you have the facts straight or if you are missing something. When they say something, do not be reactive & repeat back what you hear ~ it may be different to what they thought they said!
Thank you for taking the time to be with me once again. I hope my journey may encourage you also. This is Kenn Butler in Paradise, Nelson, with my best wishes for another week of great results & success ahead. Please take care out there. I look forward to being with you all again next week.
1 Courtesy of The Word For You Today ~ a free, daily devotional written by American Christian pastor Bob Gass & published around the world. June 14th ~ Don’t just operate ~ cooperate