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19 Questions to Ask Your Spouse
For Deeper Connection

The intimacy level of your marriage is greatly influenced by meaningful conversations. It’s how we first got to know each other when dating. Connection suffers when all your conversations are flat. 

”Did you find your keys?” 


“Did you feed the dog?” 


“When will you be home tonight?”


“Should we get pizza for dinner?”  



Intimate connection between partners cannot survive on surface level transactional interactions. Closeness requires conveying emotion and risking vulnerability with each other. These 19 questions promote sharing on a deeper level. An answer of yes or no will not work, you must explain. They can be answered superficially, but when you provide each other thoughtful, vulnerable responses, your connection will deepen. 


“What are you most excited for this week?”

“What is your fondest memory of our wedding?”

“What has pleasantly surprised you about our relationship?”

“What do you need when you’re feeling discouraged?”

“When do you feel the most comfortable?”

“How can I support you in your work today?”

“When do you feel the most successful?”

“What do you hear when everything is quiet?”

“What do you think about before you fall asleep at night?”

“What do you feel in your body when you’re stressed?”

“What’s it like for you when things don’t work out the way you wished for?”

“Who has inspired you lately?”

“What is something interesting you’ve learned recently?”

“What worries you?”

“What vacation experiences have been your favorite?”

“How can I show you how much I love you today?”

“What are you afraid is true about you?”

“How can I pray for you?”

“When do you feel the closest to me?”


Asking questions is a natural part of making conversation and a great way to get information. If you ask a lot of questions in rapid succession it can feel like a game of 20 questions or like you’re putting your spouse on trial. If your spouse feels like you’re interrogating them simply change the question into a statement like “tell me what worries you today.” or “share how you feel about going to work today.”


Meaningful questions asked in a safe environment of trust will rocket the emotional depth of your conversations and create true intimacy in your marriage. 

Want more connection in your marriage?

Go deeper.
Learn more about communication in marriage with my new email course,


30 Days of Better Communication in Marriage.


Reduce nagging, defensiveness, and conflict in your marriage while building deeper intimacy with your spouse.

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Hi I’m Brian,
As a professional clinical counselor I love hearing stories of couples who desire deeper connection with each other.

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