You Are A Winner!
You are a winner! You must be because you get notices from hither and thither telling you that you are a winner over and over again, right? Let’s begin this wonderful self-justification with a piece of snail mail sent to us (by photo) from one of our regular contributors. URGENT NOTICE… Re: UNCLAIMED REWARD. AMOUNT: $100.00
“Our records indicate that we have a reward in your name.” All you have to do to claim your reward is call 800-209-6849. Nevermind that no reason is given for this sudden pronouncement, and no business or company is identified anywhere on this urgent notice. You are a winner! Just call 800-209-6849! Except that neither Google, Yahoo or Bing search engines can find any information whatsoever about this phone number. We called this number and a real live woman (nicely spoken and without any accent) answered the phone saying “thank you for claiming your reward, can I please have your claim number located at the bottom of your postcard?” We said “can you please tell us the name of your company.” She responded with “yes, I’ll need to start with the number at the bottom of the postcard.” To which we said “we’re not going to give you the claim number until you tell us the name of your business.” She, very politely, said “alright, whenever you are ready to give us the claim number you are welcome to call back” and then hung up.
Why should any legitimate business or marketing event work so hard to hide who they are? No name on the postcard, no information in the search of the phone number, and the person unwilling to share the name of the business. Three strikes and you’re out!
No matter, we know we’re a winner because we have this email from Dr. Elizabeth Henning telling us that our e-mail address has won $2 million dollars for the 2020 Microsoft award! And the email came from an Outlook.com email account which is owned by Microsoft! But we’re a bit nervous that Dr. Elizabeth Henning is asking us to contact ADVOCATE FRANKLIN EDWARD through his email address at yandex.com. Yandex is a free internet/email service in Russia. (Why do so many “online roads” point back to Russia?)
These shortcomings have put doubts in our minds. Maybe we’re not winners afterall? To add insult to injury, this next email fuels those doubts because it says “YOU’RE THE WINNER?” with a question mark! Oh, dear! They think we may have won $5,000 but they aren’t sure. Perhaps we should click “CHECK IF YOU’RE THE WINNER!!!!” even though the link points to a website called great-info-tokeeprunning-ahead[.]info.
Now our mind is really filled with doubt! We want to keep running ahead but we’re not sure that it’s safe to click that link! And yet the email came from a website called infinitysweepstakes[.]com (or so it seems) and that sounds legitimate, right? We had Google search for “infinity sweepstakes” reviews and it found the Infinity Sweepstakes website! But the only other places where Google found reviews of this sweepstakes website was on Pinterest accounts, a crane service and a construction company account. (We found only one online complaint made on September 3, 2019 to the Salem, Oregon consumer complaint office about Infinity Sweepstakes.) Oh dear, this doesn’t help us. Maybe we’re not winners afterall. I think we need a hug.
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