DON'T PANIC

OK guys, you waited to the last minute again. You have a wife, and you know that excuse, "But she's not my Mom."? Well, using logic on Mother's day is NOT a good idea. You've got to think long-term here. But it's OK cause I've got your back. Do this:

1. Procure a flower arrangement of some type (even if you have to wander out in the yard!)
2. Write a card. No, not a factory produced one with a cute cat picture on it. Start with a blank card and put your words on it. You can do it. Like pushups. Gimme a few more.
3. If she's into spirits, I happen to know where there's an amazing gin available today (or even a whiskey if she's one of those special women.) Fix her a cocktail, and score extra points if you cook too.
4. Score maximum points if you clean up after...

Carpe Mulierem!
(Take the woman)